


You're Tired Now, Don't Give Up

by Misscoffeedependant



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Post War with Adriel, this hurt a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misscoffeedependant/pseuds/Misscoffeedependant
Summary: Everything was going well, life was perfect.Until it wasn't.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 17
Kudos: 137





	You're Tired Now, Don't Give Up

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song "What They'll Say About Us" by FINNEAS. Go give it a listen while you read this fic if you want to be hurt.

Life post- war with Adriel was better than any of the sisters warriors had expected. While the transition was hard for some and they were all left with scars that they would have with them for the rest of their lives, they were finally happy and safe. Mary and Lilith decided to stay in Spain working as private investigators (Mrs and Mrs Smith, Ava called them), while Camila moved to Paris to work in the Louvre, helping them collect rare art pieces. Ava and Beatrice, after finally confessing their feelings for each other, decided to move to Rome. The ex-nun worked for the Vatican, helping them translate and find old manuscripts while keeping the part of her that would always be connected to the church, while Ava took the more simple road and found a love for making coffee. They eventually found a small apartment above a quaint, little cafe that smelled of freshly brewed coffee and cannoli. It was a small place, a little run down and needed a little bit of work, but over the years it became their home. There were polaroids on the fridge of the couple spanning over the years, pictures around the apartment of their friends who visited often, knick knacks they had picked up from various places Beatrice wanted to show Ava for the first time. Books could be found scattered across the apartment. Pot plants thrived on their tiny balcony where two chairs and a table were squeezed on to, and it was common to see the two women sitting there with a glass of wine in hand, watching the night life of the street go by, happy and content in their own little world. Occasionally the two women were joined by their friends and laughter and talk could be heard floating down to the street below. After so many years of pain, and suffering, and almost losing each other, they were finally safe, at peace and happy. 

Eventually after six years together, someone finally proposed! Technically they both proposed, and the whole ordeal still makes Lilith roll her eyes. Ava had enlisted Mary’s help while Beatrice teamed up with Camila. Somehow, the two teams of idiots had planned it for the same night, and everything kept going wrong and interfering with the other's plans, and in the end Ava cracked it and dropped down onto one knee in the middle of the beach while at the same time Beatrice blurted out “Will you marry me?”. The wedding was a small affair in the summer. It was only the five of them under the protective watch of the stars and lit up by fairy lights strung up amongst the trees. Beatrice and Ava wore simple short white dresses, and exchanged vows that left everyone bubbling messes while Mother Superion made an appearance to officiate the wedding. Camila had provided a feast for dinner and they had spent the night dancing and celebrating. 

And the domestic life suited them. Over time Ava started to become comfortable in the kitchen, and most nights when Beatrice came home dinner was already waiting on the table for her with a kiss from her wife. In the beginning, Beatrice struggled to keep the food down, but eventually Ava got better and Beatrice found herself looking forward to Ava’s cooking. They spent most nights at home, either reading or watching a TV show or movie that Ava insisted Beatrice needed to watch. Some nights they would go out and explore the city, trying a new place to eat each time. Sometimes they would travel to Spain or Paris to visit the others, and sometimes they would come to Rome. Life was good, it was what they deserved after so many years dedicated to the OCS, and they were happy.

But then things started to get hard. It started small and Ava was a naturally clumsy person, so Beatrice didn’t think too much of it when things first started happening. It began with Ava walking into doorways and bumping into the table or chairs. Ava would laugh it off and joke about how she was still getting used to her body even after all these years. But then she began dropping things more often, then came missing her mouth when she was eating, and struggling to use cutlery. She kept accidentally hurting herself when she was cooking, so Beatrice decided she would take over cooking meals. On top of that, every time Ava injured herself, it took longer than normal for the Halo to heal her. As the month passed, it was occurring too often, so Beatrice finally caved and called up Jillian Salvius to say they were coming to ARQ Tech. There was no one else they could trust to keep the Halo a secret, and Beatrice had a terrible feeling there was something wrong with it. 

After a battering of tests, they were finally back home and Beatrice sat on the couch with an exhausted Ava asleep on her lap and her phone sitting in front of her, hoping to have some good news to give to Ava when she woke up. Beatrice was smart, she had put together all the clues and she had an idea what could be happening, and for once in her life she wanted to be proven wrong. Ava was an incredibly strong woman, who had overcome so much, and who had so much to look forward to. This was just a small bump in the road, and Beatrice kept praying that this was all it was.

\\\\\

When the call came a week later, it wasn’t good news. The Halo was shutting down after so many years of inactivity and Jillian had suspected that without a purpose, it was time for the Halo to go. Over the course of the week of waiting Ava had gotten worse. She had lost weight, barely had the energy to stand, let alone walk. She was just so tired. Beatrice had decided to take leave from work to be with her that week, and luckily she had because she had to catch Ava countless times after her legs gave out. But Ava couldn’t give up, not now. She had overcome so much, fought demons both externally and internally, defeated Adriel, learnt to love and be loved, and she finally had a family again. She had the whole world ahead of her to live with Beatrice and she wasn’t going to let a small piece of metal stop her from living the life she deserved. They were going to have a family, they were going to grow old together, and Ava wasn’t going to throw that away.

In an effort to reactivate the Halo, Ava tried phasing through walls, levitating in the living room, producing pulses of light, but it wasn’t enough. Without a powerful entity like Adirel here on Earth, the Halo didn’t have a purpose anymore. But Ava wasn’t giving up, no matter how exhausted she was, she had to find a new purpose. She made sure to eat as much as she could every meal, but half the time it came back up. She kept trying to give the Halo a reason to exist, although what could match protecting the world from demons? But she refused to give up, she had too much to lose, she had a family to fight for now.

\\\\\

The room was silent except for the slow constant beeping coming from the machines connected to Ava, a steady reminder to Beatrice that Ava was okay for now. The room at ARQ Tech had become home over the course of the past month. What was once a cold, sterile, empty space was now filled with photos, books, and fresh flowers, and sometimes on a good day music could be heard. But not today, today was not a good day. The doctors this morning had delivered the bad news that Ava’s kidneys were failing. Today, Beatrice couldn’t help but think back to the day it all went downhill. 

A couple months after the initial news, things had started to look better. Food was staying down, the weight stayed on and Ava was walking, although very slowly, throughout their apartment. In the last couple days, they had managed to make it around their apartment block. And everyday, without fail, Ava had a smile on her face, a joke ready, and her laugh still filled the apartment. On days she wasn’t too tired, they made it down the stairs to the cafe to enjoy watching the people go about their lives and enjoy the sun. On the days where it got hard, the two women could be found cuddled up on the couch, Ava pressed against Beatrice's chest as she drew circles on Ava’s back around the Halo while reading whatever book they were tackling that day. 

The day that Beatrice’s world crumbled happened on what seemed to be a good day. Beatrice was sitting at the kitchen bench watching Ava slowly move around the kitchen to make Beatrice a cup of tea and a coffee for herself. It made her happy to be able to do something without asking Beatrice for help, and Beatrice happily watched on, allowing herself to pretend for one small moment that everything was fine. She was proud of the progress her wife had made over the last couple months, and she was amazed by the sheer willpower the woman before her had. Everyday, no matter if Ava didn’t have the energy to get out of bed, she would give Beatrice that smile that melted her heart, and would say “Not giving up.” And that morning she walked into the kitchen, wrapped her arms from behind Beatrice, gave her a kiss on the cheek and cheerfully said those words before helping with breakfast. 

It was supposed to be a good day. 

But then their happy domestic bubble shattered into a million pieces.

It was like Beatrice saw it in slow motion. Ava turned around, a mug in each hand, looking so proud of herself, giving Beatrice a classic Ava smile. And then her eyes rolled back. One mug dropped, the second followed, and then her legs gave out. Beatrice had never moved so fast in her entire life, but only just managed to get around the kitchen bench to catch Ava’s head before it hit the tiles. They rushed her to ARQ Tech where they delivered the devastating news. 

Ava’s body was failing. Her time was almost up.

Her lungs were giving up.

Her muscles were giving up.

Her heart that loved so much, was struggling to keep going. 

That happened a month ago. And Ava hadn’t woken up since.

And now Beatrice sat by Ava’s bed, her hands wrapped around Ava’s, desperately holding on, trying to process the news from this morning. Another part of Ava was giving up. 

But deep down inside, she knew Ava was on borrowed time. Since day one, since the moment she had learnt who the new Halo Bearer was, she knew Ava was on borrowed time. What she didn’t expect was to fall in love and have a life with said Halo Bearer. She found love where it wasn’t supposed to be, and had an amazing 12 years together. They fought side by side, they supported each other, they laughed and cried together but most of all they became the love that they never thought they deserved. They were happy, they were safe, and they shared life neither of them could have imagined together. It was a miracle that Ava was alive, that she became the last Warrior Nun, and that she survived against Adriel. But now Ava was struggling. Her second chance at life was now fading with each passing day. The Halo that brought Ava back, the Halo that allowed Beatrice to meet Ava in the first place, was the one thing that was taking the love of her life away from her, and she didn’t know whether to be grateful or resent it. 

And as much as Beatrice wanted to hear good news every time a doctor came into the room, she knew with each day that passed, it was less likely. She didn’t need the doctors to tell her, she had seen the charts herself. Ava was barely holding on. 

Beatrice stood up and placed a kiss to Ava’s forehead, sending all the love she could with it, and while her heart shattered into a million pieces, she whispered into Ava’s ear, “I know you’re tired, and I know you’ve tried so hard. But it’s okay, Ava, it's okay. I know you tried your hardest to come back to us. You’ve done so well, and I am so proud of you, and it's okay if you want to rest. Take your time my love, I love you in this life and the next.”

As Beatrice sat back down, wiping away the silent tears that had appeared, the door opened and Camila walked in quietly, stopping next to Beatrice who looked up to see the other girl holding a fussy newborn. 

“I think he wants his mums,” Camila whispered gently, instantly understanding the heaviness in the room. The younger nun had been by Beatrice's side the whole time, never being more than a room away. She carefully placed him in Beatrice's arms, who placed a soft kiss to his head instantly calming him. Beatrice smiled at the half asleep baby. “I wish you could see him. He looks just like you,” she whispered quietly to Ava.

Theo was a tiny baby that came into the world a couple weeks early kicking and screaming, and was the only reason why Beatrice wasn't constantly by Ava’s side. Ava had suggested the name one weekend out of the blue, saying it meant “God’s Gift” and that any child of theirs was a gift. He was biologically Ava’s but Beatrice had carried him, so he could be part of both of them in some way. 

“What did the doctors say?” asked Camila softly, as she pulled a chair to sit next to Beatrice.

Beatrice couldn’t say it, so resorted to shaking her head as silent tears started to stream down her cheeks again. 

“Bea, I am so sorry.” Camila pulled Beatrice close and Beatrice finally let herself cry into her shoulder. She cried for everything Ava would miss out on doing, she cried for her son who Ava wouldn’t be able to meet, she cried for the life they were supposed to live together. She cried out of anger for the Halo taking away the love of her life, she cried out of happiness for every moment they had together, and she cried out of fear, because how will she live without Ava by her side? 

It was as if he could feel his mother’s pain, Theo started crying, his little face red and his lungs working at full capacity. Beatrice tried her best to calm him down, but it was to no avail. The little boy cried at the top of his lungs that even the Heavens above could hear him. 

“Bea?” whispered Camila, prodding Beatrice's arm trying to get her attention. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

Beatrice looked up to find Camila pointing at Ava.

“What am I-” Beatrice suddenly stopped. Surely she was imagining this.

But the Halo was pulsing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to praisethebees and slythleo for your help with this one, couldn't have done it without you!
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it! If you did please leave a kudos and a comment if you liked it :)


End file.
